Life On Partying Like It's 1999

The only form of exercise that I enjoy is dancing. I'm serious; I hate any type of physical activities, but give me some stretch pants and a Prince album, and it is so on. There's just something about good music that just flows through me and makes me feel like I'm in a different world. Feeling the bass of the song playing and realizing that it is in sync with the beat of my heart just sends me off the wall.

That is one of the reasons why I love going to gay clubs. The music there is always hip happening. Not the mention, the way these gay men dance sometimes would put the great Ne-yo to shame. At a gay club, every song seems to be my jam. It is rare thing for me to think, I'm going to sit this song out. Guess what? You can't!

Another reason I enjoy dancing with the gays as opposed to hanging with the breeders, is because there is none of that pretentious bullshit you find at a straight club. At straight clubs, people worry too much about impressing the opposite sex. They sit there and stare too much, dress too skanky, drink too little, dance too slow, try too hard, and end up going home alone and touching themselves.

Partying with the gays is a different story. You buy your own drinks, dress how you want, flirt with whomever, and usually never make it back home until the next day. With the gays, you meet many interesting folks. As a people, they tend to be friendly and welcoming. When I go out dancing, I make it my main priority to have a fun time, drinking and dancing; the late night blow jobs are usually a plus. Gays don't have to worry about trying to impress one another. Either you like me or you don't. If you don't, you move on and dance with the next available hottie of the night. You do this a couple of times, and then you finally meet the man of your dreams. Well, at least for that night. After you dance for the next 4 hours, you wrap up the night by going back to this nameless, faceless jock's apartment and you bump nasties. Done deal, you get up, leave your card, and go home; Never to embark in such adventures again, until next Saturday.

Now, I'm sure partying with straight people might have its perks too, but nothing as good as this. Horny, gay men are about a subtle as a gun. And people wonder why I love going to West Hollywood? Not only are the guys hot, the music is off the hook, the drinks are a bit heavy handed, and the bathrooms are always an adventure. So, let’s grab our purses, bring the lube, and start partying with the gays. Just don't be surprised to see this big girl on the dance floor, dancing with the flexibility of a thin person, with my hands in the air, singing "Mama say mama sa, mama cu sa! Mama say mama sa, mama cu sa! Mama say mama sa, mama cu sa!"