In Memory of Larry King

He walked into class the morning of February 12, 2008 unsure of what he was about to do. He was completely oblivious to the fact that his life was about to change forever. He looked at the back of his classmate’s head, took a long breath, and made a decision; a decision that would have an eternal affect on every witness there. He pulled a .22-calliber revolver from his backpack and shot him twice in the back of the head. He then decided to just walk away.

Brandon McInerney was only 14 years old when he shot and killed 15 year old Larry King at their Junior High school in Oxnard, California. He was said to be a troubled student with a view of life that established him as dominant and superior than most. King was also a troubled student, going from group home to group home, trying to discover his identity and exploring different stages of his sexuality. It was clear that the both had little in common. Their differences turned into hate, and their hate turned into violence.

It was a long and suspenseful trial that lasted 8 weeks. 8 long weeks that had many people holding their breaths. How was this minor going to be charged? What would the defendants come up with that could possibly justify this act of complete brutality? How can we stop this from happening again? What could their school, their parents, their guardians, or their peers have done to help prevent this? What could King have possible done to warrant an early death at the hands of a classmate?

McInerney’s attorney told a rather convincing tale that would lead to a mistrial in how to appropriately sentence a young murderer. He explained that McInerney acted out of fear and frustration. The months prior to the shooting, it was said that King had continuously tormented McInerney with sexual remarks and verbal abuses that left him traumatized and humiliated in front of his friends. What other solution was there for a teenager that felt he was being victimized by a gay boy wearing women’s clothing? The defendants found their niche and decided to run with it. The months following the investigation, King was portrayed as a bully determined to torment his classmates by his boisterous and daring behavior. Reading and watching the reports that would come out of every session and with student and teacher witnesses, they painted a picture that stated: King deserved his death.

As I sit here reading the latest in the trial, and after following closely for the past 2 months any and all news reports, I find myself asking the exact same thing. I mean, did King really deserve to die? Could his abusiveness have been that harsh that it can push another student to commit such an act? As an openly gay man in my mid-twenties, I had to analyze this situation and determine what I truly believed was an appropriate response to this event. I did not notice any gay youth being asked to testify, and I was left wondering what perspective was given during the past 8 weeks. Did anyone ask themselves why such behavior was conducted by King? Why did he feel a need to make sexual and flirtatious remarks to a known homophobe? Why did he find it appropriate to tease his classmates and bring discord and discomfort to the people around him?

I entered High School in June of 2000. Six short months later I had came out of the closet and established myself as a gay youth. In the years that followed my coming out, I had been through so much harassment and discrimination by my fellow classmates that I was just counting down the days until graduation. Many of my friends turned their backs on me and refused to speak to me. They were embarrassed to be seen with me and completely alienated me from their High School experience. Those first 2 years of school were probably the loneliest years of my life; I could be found having lunch by myself in the library or walking the hallways in search of a sympathetic smile. I felt that I had no one to turn to and the desolate feelings eventually led to a depression that took me on a journey filled with acts of social misconduct, truancy, drugs, theft, and other various bearings.

Despite my feelings of complete bleakness, I refused to allow such behavior to overtake me. I wanted to let others know that their homophobic remarks did nothing to my character. In fact, it only stimulated my desire to humiliate them as much as they humiliated me. I came on to them. To every single one of them. I would tease them, call them the same names they were calling me, and eventually embarrass them with a gesture that assured my attraction. This became my defense mechanism. While I agree that it was probably not the wisest of behaviors, who could I have turned to for advice? Who could have told me what was the best option for me? I acted the way I knew best.

Larry King was only 15. He had already ascertained his sexuality; the hardest step. The next step was to procure the approval of his peers and family members, and fight really hard for his sovereignty. Despite his apparent attraction to his slayer, he did what he knew best and definitely did not deserve the penalty of death. He acted out of pride and determination. He wanted to let everybody know that he loved himself and he dared anybody to tell him differently.

King reminds me so much of my young self. I was daring, I was proud, and I wanted to break social norms. But I was also very lonely. Gay youth, even today, have very few influences. Who can they turn to for advice? If we are lucky, we have two parents; a mom and a dad. Already, we are different from them. They could not possibly understand what it is like to have a different, rare, unacceptable sexuality. How can we expect gay youth to feel comfortable explaining to their parents their troubles? We have no choice but to keep our feelings from others and conduct our behavior in such manners as King and I did.

Brandon McInerney is a murderer. King’s actions towards him have no justification. His testimony on being troubled and bullied is a slap in the face to gay youth everywhere. What if the tables were turned? Gay youth face torment every day, yet I did not just spend the last two month following the trial of a straight bully killed by a gay victim.

Necessary steps need to be taken to ensure something like this does not happen again. What can we say for ourselves when we have allowed 2 young people to throw their lives away over a difference in characters? I believe that understanding human behavior in all its aspects is essential in determining how best to tread on students like King and McInerney. Human sexuality is complex and ambiguous. I refuse to believe that we can determine one’s worth based on set attractions. When we limit ourselves to one belief system, we allow room for fear and hate. Hate is a real killer.

The trial was a disappointment. One felt by gay activist all over the world. I found myself troubled by the news report and had to wonder how close I was to being the slain student. I am thankful that I survived those years of loneliness and confusion with my head held high and a clear understanding of human behavior. I left high school determined to be the best gay I knew how to be. I learned to never be ashamed, never underestimate the power that hate has on people, and to never let anyone tell me that I could not land on my feet. Most importantly I learned how to love myself. And while King’s death was a blow to the community, he left this world loving who he was and standing up for his right to be him. He landed on his feet.